Sometimes Its Tiring to Fight
Yesterday was not a good day, but I thought today was a better day for my reflection. It is tiring and frustrating to have to assert your worth, in my case because of my health status. Yes I try and overcome and address my anger with poetry, with boxing- playing the brave superhero- but there are days I feel unheard, misunderstood, not enough. I’ve lost important things as a result of my health status. So some days just aren’t good days because I get tired. Tired of all the things I have to do just to keep going.
Today is better. But it doesn’t wipe away all the pain. I share this because it’s true and I’m sure it’s true for others.
Similarly, as we acknowledge Martin Luther King Jr, remember it’s not just all statues and street names. He died because of his fight for equality- because as we have blatantly seen-many people do not believe in black folks common humanity. Especially right now, we need to take that in.
ACTUALLY, I am Not Brave
The presentations I do at schools, hospitals, family groups, etc are for the National Alliance on Mental Illness here in MA. I present on my experience living with mental illness, from my dark days to my successes. My first for this program was in March. In my evaluations, the number 1 thing people say is- “you are so brave.” Brave? I don’t feel brave. I feel COMPLETELY PASSIONATE AND COMPELLED. This is what I should be doing. It’s in my spirit.
Mental illness has affected every aspect of my life since it arrived in 2010. And mental illness is NOT treated the same way as a physical illness. And that is my mission- they should be. One example- If you have a hip replacement, afterwards, a person comes to your home for rehab. If you are hospitalized for a mental illness, you are lucky to see a Dr once in three days. You are usually discharged without ongoing support. It’s lonely and hard.
So brave? No I do not consider myself brave. I am telling my story. In the New Year, I will be using this Genesis page for more writings, videos, and other content. If anything, I want us to love and understand each other more deeply. And that, I feel, is a good use of my life.